


Lance is Absolutely NOT Jealous

by irls_goaway



Series: Defenders of the 99th Precinct [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Denial of Feelings, Feelings Realization, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Secret Crush, au-voltron x b99, broganes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:33:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25453195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irls_goaway/pseuds/irls_goaway
Summary: Lance realizes that, okay, maybe he is a little bit jealous that Keith is going on a date with Kinkade..Some precinct filler + bonus adashi“Do you see me as a father figure, Kogane?” Shiro asked, a hint of a smile tracing his lips.
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Hunk/Shay (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron), Keith/Ryan Kinkade
Series: Defenders of the 99th Precinct [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1120761
Comments: 6
Kudos: 54





	Lance is Absolutely NOT Jealous

**Author's Note:**

> HI I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I LOVE KINKADE AND I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST HIM BUT I NEEDED A CHARACTER TO WRITE AS B99'S TEDDY  
> ok enjoy your stay here

Keith stared at the man sitting across his desk from him quizzically, “So, again, your alibi is a mysterious stranger handed you the gun, made you put your prints on it, robbed the store, and then hid the gun in your underpants?”

The perp nodded and said, “Well, yeah, if you say it like that, it don't sound believable.”

He gave up on questioning the man for now, and returned to typing on his computer. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shiro walking towards him and remembered he needed to ask him something, “Oh, hey, Sarge, did you get my report on the finley murder?”

“Yeah, I looked it over. Nice work,” Shiro responded.

“Good. Thanks, dad,” Keith said, going back to his normal routine. The whole precinct turned to stare at Keith in disbelief. Lance had the biggest smile he had ever seen plastered on his face. Oblivious to the fact that he had just called Shiro his dad, he said, “Why is everyone staring at me?”

After a short moment of silence, Pidge said, “You just called Sargeant Shirogane "dad.’"

Keith swiveled his chair around and sputtered, “What? No, I didn't. I said, ‘thanks man’.”

“Do you see me as a father figure, Kogane?” Shiro asked, a hint of a smile tracing his lips.

Keith spun in his chair again to face Shiro, “No,” He said, a bit too quickly and defensively, “If anything, I see you as a _bother_ figure, because you’re always bothering me,” Keith said. He realized his whole body had tensed up and willed his shoulders to drop to where they normally were.

“Hey, show your father some respect,” Lance teased, but backed away when it seemed like Keith was about to punch him.

“I didn’t call him dad!” Keith threw his arms in the air like a toddler throwing a fit.

“No, no. Keith, I take it as a compliment,” Shiro tried to calm Keith down.

“It’s not a big deal. I called Shay mom once and she’s my fiancee,” Hunk chimed in. Some would argue he said that just a little bit too proudly.

Keith pointed at Hunk, “Guys, jump on that! Hunk has psycho-sexual issues.”

“Old news,” Pidge waved her hand around, as if she were literally brushing that fact away, “But you calling Shiro daddy,” she said, grinning when she saw Keith’s ears turn red.

“Hey, daddy is _not_ on the table here,” Keith said, extremely frustrated.

The perp who Keith was speaking to earlier shrugged, “Well, you did call him dad, dude.”

“You shut up! You’ve done nothing but lie since you got here,” Keith growled.

“Okay, I _was_ lying about the hold-up, but the daddy thing, that happened,” The perp said matter of factly.

“Ah-ha,” Keith pointed at the man, “He admitted the alibi was a lie! All part of my crazy, devious plan!”

“I believe you-” Shiro began to say, but was cut off by Keith.

“Thank you.”

“-son,” Shiro finished his thought, “You want to talk about it later over a game of catch?”

Keith looked up at him and did his best not to have any sort of reaction, but his words betrayed him, “I’d like that.” Shiro nodded and carried on walking around the bullpen.

Keith thought he was safe from ridicule until he noticed Adam on the elevator, holding a brown paper bag. _Shit_ , Keith thought to himself. He prayed to god that Lance and Pidge wouldn’t get back from the bistro down the street early enough to see Adam. Unlikely since, apparently, the universe hated Keith Kogane with a burning passion.

Adam strode over to Shiro’s desk and placed a hand softly on his back,“‘Kashi, I brought you some lunch.” He pulled up a chair next to him and sat down.

Shiro erupted into a warm and wide smile and placed a quick kiss on Adam's cheek, “God, why can’t you have the day off everyday. A guy could get used to this kind of treatment.”

“It’s not everyday that there’s a breakout of rats with lice and the whole school needs to be shut down,” Adam said.

A few seconds later, the elevator doors opened again to reveal Lance and Pidge, each holding half a burger and sporting a dash of mayonnaise on their cheeks. Lance’s eyes landed on Adam and immediately darted to Keith as if challenging him.

“Keith called Shiro daddy today!” Lance screamed loudly.

At the same time, Keith screamed, “No, don’t listen to him, he’s a liar!”

Adam, still not fully accustomed to the chaos of the precinct, seemed startled, “What?”

“KEITHCALLEDSHIRODADDYTODAY!” Lance said before Keith could interject.

Adam quirked an eyebrow at Lance, then Keith and finally, at his boyfriend. He looked back at Lance and said, “What?”

“I called him dad! I did not say daddy!” Keith said, frantically moving his hands around, “And it was to get a confession from a perp!”

“That’s a lie, Kogane,” Pidge said, taking another mammoth-sized bite of her burger, “If Shiro is Keith’s dad, what does that make Adam?”

“Confused,” Adam replied. Shiro, Pidge, and Lance all laughed uproariously. Keith crossed his arms against his chest and slumped down in his chair, not bothering to stop even after his butt left the chair. Adam tried to console Keith’s hurt pride, but it was no use. He laid on the ground for an hour.

Despite Keith’s many objections, he got up from the ground and grabbed his jacket. They were going to a training simulation thing with all the other precincts in New York at the Tactical Village. Every year, it got pretty intense and every year Keith didn’t care about it, but it was kind of nice to see Lance get so excited about it.

He sat on the NYPD bus with Lance and Pidge, who had, thankfully, let go of the whole “calling Shiro dad” situation. The two of them were discussing their strategy to win the simulation. Lance was hellbent on getting the trophy for the coolest kill and Pidge threatened to kill Keith if he stood in the way of the 99 beating the record for fastest run through.

When they left the bus, Lance and Pidge were still going over how they would win. Keith walked off the bus, mumbling something about “weirdos”. Lance asked Pidge what he should do for the coolest kill and she replied with, “Shoot yourself.” Lance laughed sarcastically.

Lance walked into the building and started shooting greetings at people. He caught up to Keith who had already begun to unload equipment.

“Keith Kogane?” An unfamiliar voice called out. Lance looked up to see where it had come from.

“Ryan Kinkade?” Keith smiled. _That was weird_ , Lance thought. Normally, Keith hated, well, people. It didn’t stop there, though. The man who Lance now knew was Ryan, pulled Keith into a hug and Keith didn’t even try to push him away. _Double weird_.

“You’re still with the 99?” Ryan inquired.

Keith nodded, “You?”

“82 now. I think we’re actually paired with each other, right?”

Lance didn’t like this. Hunk noticed Lance had stopped unloading their equipment and looked over at him to see what was wrong. He followed Lance’s gaze to where Keith was standing, talking to another man. Hunk smiled to himself, _Lance is jealous_ , he thought.

“What is going on here?” Lance interrupted their conversation. Ryan and Keith both turned to look at Lance.

“Oh, this is Ryan, we met at a workshop about police codes,” Keith said.

Lance forced a tight smile, “Sounds dope,” he said. Already turning away, he told Ryan, “Nice to meet you,” and walked off, not even offering up his name to him. He didn’t go far, only about a meter away, back to Hunk and Shiro by the table of their gear.

“Who was that guy?” Pidge asked Keith.

“Uh, that was Ryan. We went on, like, five dates last year. I liked him,” If Lance weren’t trying so hard to make it seem like he wasn’t interested in what Keith had to say about Ryan, he would have noticed the quick dart Keith’s eyes made toward his coworker, “but he was stationed out in Queens so I never got to see him, and it sort of fizzled.” Lance let himself sneak a look at Keith to gage his reaction to his fizzling out with Ryan.

“Right, that’s the guy you said the lame stuff about, like, ‘he’s a good listener’,” Pidge said.

Keith furrowed his brows at Pidge, “I’m sorry, what do _you_ look for in a guy?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know. Real stuff, like the shape of his ass.” With that, Pidge walked away and Keith, confused, also walked away from the group.

When he was sure that Keith was out of earshot, Lance said to Hunk, “Isn’t it weird that Keith dated that guy?”

“Why do _you_ care so much,” Hunk insinuated, his voice sounding a little bit like Merryl Streep in Mamma Mia

“Okay, first of all, your insinuating voice is way too high, it’s creepy,” Lance said. Hunk rolled his eyes at his friend, “And second, I don’t care. I’m just curious why he would like him.”

“Whatever you say,” Hunk said, still in the voice that Lance hated.

Truth be told, after their ‘kind of date’ that they went on because Lance won their bet, he wasn’t sure how he felt about Keith. He’d known for a long time that he was attracted to both guys and girls, but this was _Keith_ . He didn’t have feelings for Keith. They teased each other and to outsiders, that might have seemed like flirting, but he definitely did not have feelings for Keith. Okay, yes, occasionally when Keith got so focused on paperwork that his hair fell in front of his face, _sometimes_ Lance wanted to run his hands through his hair and push it back, but that was more of a helpful thing. And yes, sure, he _maybe_ hated Ryan Kinkade just a teensy little bit with no information to go off of other than he was Keith’s ex, but that was how friends worked. You have to hate your friends’ exes, that’s the bro code.

It was also totally a part of the bro code that when your bro is hanging out with an ex, you need to be there to make sure he doesn’t do anything dumb. Like get back together with said ex.

After spending a few minutes with Keith and Ryan, Lance finally had a valid reason to dislike Ryan. God, he was boring. His only personality traits were that he liked quizzing Keith on police codes, but he liked Pilsners even more. Lance thought a good drinking game would be to take a shot everytime Ryan mentioned Pilsners.

Still though, Lance managed to insert himself into every activity Keith and Ryan did together.

“Wanna go check out the new handguns?” Ryan asked. It was important to note that he was facing and making eye contact with only Keith.

Both he and Lance replied at the same time with, “Yeah, sure.”

Keith glared at Lance as if to tell him to scram, but Lance was nothing if not persistent, “Oh, I see what happened there. I thought he was talking to me,” He said. At that, Keith’s facial expression softened. “And he clearly was. Chop chop, Ryan. Let’s roll,” Lance said, dragging Ryan with him, “Watch our stuff? Thanks,” He said to Keith.

Keith, never one to listen to instructions, did not stay back to guard their belongings. He followed Lance and Ryan to the handgun station. Ryan picked up a gun, leaving only one more available. Lance and Keith locked eyes in an unspoken challenge and both raced for the gun. When it came to races, Lance never had a chance against Keith. Keith had the agility of a fox.

Keith and Ryan both lined up in front of their targets and got into the shooting stance. Keith shot first, both of the bullets fired from his gun, piercing through the cardboard cutout’s chest.

“Nice,” Ryan complimented Keith, “Have you noticed they moved the trigger? Real exciting finger feel.”

 _Finger feel?_ Before Lance could comment on the atrocity that just came out of Ryan’s mouth, Ryan was shooting at the target.

“Nice, two to the chest. Textbook shooting,” Keith complimented.

“Yeah, and his overalls fell down. I can’t believe you would kill a farmer, the backbone of our nation’s economy,” Lance said. At this point, he wasn’t totally sure what he was saying, as long as he made his presence known, “May I?” Lance extended his hand to receive Ryan’s gun. The other man reluctantly handed it over., “When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J.”

“You shoot a sandwich?” Ryan asked.

“Penis, brain, jaw,” Lance said with a smirk. He fired three times down one line with confidence. What Lance lacked in speed, he more than made up for in aim.

“Nice shooting, man,” Ryan said with much less enthusiasm than when he was complimenting Keith, “but do you think the penis is an effective target? Interesting fact: a man can run half a mile with no genitals.”

“That’s a weird thing to know a lot about,” Lance said, handing Ryan the gun back. Keith glared at Lance again, a silent _go away_. 

Lance was not jealous of Ryan. _That guy?_ Please. He was so not jealous that he was totally fine with walking away and leaving the two of them alone. Besides, there was no way Keith was going to fall for _that guy_ again. He was so...bleh.

Lance meandered around Tactical Village until it was the 99’s turn to go through the simulation. He read a few pamphlets on the new bulletproof vests, tried a few protein drinks and made dumb faces in the reflective panels on the walls. From across the room, he spotted Hunk and waved him down.

“Hey man, you figured out what you’re going to do for the coolest kill yet?” Hunk asked.

“Shit, I totally forgot about that! Hunk, _please_ tell me you have an idea,” Lance begged. The thought of coolest kill had completely slipped his mind while he was cockblocking hanging out with Keith and Ryan.

“You could go upsy-downsies,” Hunk said.

“What is upsy-downsies?”

“It’s when you hold your gun upside down and fire, it’s super cool,” Hunk explained. 

“I’ll take your word for it, buddy,” Lance patted Hunk’s shoulder. 

The whole squad was dressed and armed for the simulation and was waiting for the 82 to finish up so they could go in. He still hadn’t come up with a move to get the trophy for the coolest kill and he was frantically scouring the depths of his brain for an idea. 

“Hey, Keith,” A voice said. Lance tensed up and grimaced to himself.

“Hey Ryan, how’d it go in there?” Keith asked, stepping away from the 99’s huddle.

Ryan smirked, “Well, I don’t want to brag, but we had a perfect run,” _sounded pretty braggy to Lance_ , “I’m pretty sure we just beat the course record.”

Lance rolled his eyes.

“Wow, that’s so cool, Ryan!” Keith said. 

“Good luck in there,” Ryan said to Keith.

“Thanks!” Lance interjected from a few feet away. Ryan smiled awkwardly at the rest of the squad and walked off. Keith rejoined the 99’s huddle and Shiro began debriefing them on the simulation. If Keith thought that breaking the course record was so cool of Ryan, Lance would just have to show him how easy it was.

“Okay we’re taking this seriously!” Lance declared. The rest of the squad simultaneously rolled their eyes because they _were_ taking it seriously already.

“What? No character this year? We never got a satisfying ending for Rex Buckingham from last year,” Keith teased.

Lance shook his head, “I am playing a character,” he said, “A no nonsense detective whose only goal is to beat that course record and prove that we’re the best precinct here! His name is Vic Kovak, an ex-navy whose wife was abandoned by-” Lance cut himself off, “I don’t have time for his whole backstory, let’s beat this thing!”

“Yeah!” Pidge pumped a fist into the air.

Shiro assigned Pidge and Hunk to perimeter control and Lance and Keith were clearing the floors. The first part of the simulation went off without a hitch for Keith and Lance. Partway through, Keith suggested they separate to clear more ground quicker in order to get the course record. Lance agreed and went up the stairs two at a time.

He cleared two floors before he ran into trouble. Three men stood around another who was tied to a chair. Their shirts read ‘perp’. Lance was outnumbered.

“Put the guns down,” One of the men ordered.

Lance sighed and dangled a gun in each of his hands, slowly lowering them. Keith caught up with Lance and stopped at the doorway. While the three men were distracted by Keith, Lance used his middle fingers to press down on the triggers of his handguns. He went upsy-downsies. 

Keith hollered, “Nice!”

Lance felt a surge of pride and then shame. Upsy-downsies looked dumber than he thought. Keith made a point to constantly remind Lance until they returned to the group.

At least they broke the record.

When they got back to the squad, they erupted into praise for Lance.

“You looked really dumb, Kovak” Keith teased again.

“Thanks guys, it almost makes me want to actually take things seriously, but then I’m like ‘boobs, farts, boobs, whatever’,” Lance said. Keith rolled his eyes at Lance and Hunk smiled at his friend, “Off to Sal’s bar we go. Drinks are on me, let’s roll!” Lance announced.

The rest of the squad cheered again and started to file out. Hunk waited for Lance who was waiting for Keith. Keith pulled Lance aside and said, “Actually, Ryan asked me to get dinner, so maybe I can meet up with you guys afterwards?”

Lance felt like he had a stroke, “Oh, neat. Yeah, of course,” He tried to say as nonchalantly as his half functioning brain would allow, “Boobs, fart, boobs, whatever,” Lance mumbled.

Keith nodded, “Cool.”

The bar was packed that night, mostly because of the 99. Shiro invited Adam, Hunk invited Shay and Pidge brought her brother, Matt along as well.

Matt had brought along his Nintendo Switch, so, obviously, he and Pidge were huddled up in the corner of the bar playing Animal Crossing. Shay and Hunk were at a table, feeding each other food that Lance was certain did not come from the bar on account of it looking like testicles. Adam and Shiro sat at the bar, talking and laughing. Shiro pulled out his phone to show Adam photos of him in the Tactical Village gear.

Lance should have been having the time of his life, but all he could do was sulk in a booth at the bar. The rest of the squad was busy actually having fun. All the happy couples (and Pidge and Matt) around him made him sick.

He wasn’t jealous that Keith was currently on a date with Ryan, no, he wasn’t. He was just a little disheartened at the fact that Keith didn’t want to hang out with the squad after Lance broke the record for him. All he could think about was what they were doing. It had been hours and Keith promised he would meet them later, but he still hadn’t shown. He kept checking his phone on the off chance that Keith would text him and tell him that Ryan was a total pervert and he needed him to break him out of the date. Unfortunately, it seemed that Ryan was not a total pervert.

Hunk returned to the booth with two glasses of whiskey and Lance downed his glass in one long gulp and let out a loud belch. Hunk watched, both impressed and a little bit disgusted, “What’s going on, Vic Kovak?”

“What do you think Keith sees in Ryan?” Lance asked. Fuck. He hadn’t meant to actually say that out loud, but he it was better that he accidentally blurted that out to Hunk than to someone else, like Coran or Pidge.

“So you _do_ like Keith,” Hunk said matter of factly.

Lance scoffed indignantly, “I’m just curious. I mean, I guess he’s okay-looking-”

“-No man, Kinkade is hot.” Hunk added. Unhelpfully, Lance might add.

“Whatever, and I guess he’s a good cop and they’re both kind of dorky about police stuff. Also, he set the course record, but that’s nothing. I broke it, like, 20 minutes later,” Lance started rambling. Okay, maybe Kinkade wasn’t _that_ bad.

Hunk looked at Lance empathetically and took a sip of his whiskey, “You want to know why he went out with him and not you?” He said. 

“Yeah,” Lance responded honestly, his voice a little softer than he would ever admit to it being.

“Because he actually asked him out,” Hunk said and excused himself when he saw Shay flagging him down.

Lance hemmed and hawed with his phone and empty glass for a while. Hunk was right, and Lance hated when Hunk was right because that meant he was wrong. Half an hour later, Hunk told Lance he had to get home and asked if he wanted a ride home with him and Shay. Lance turned down the offer, saying he wanted to stay a bit longer.

The truth was that he was waiting for Keith. In case he decided to ditch Ryan and come meet the squad at the bar, he didn’t want them all to be gone. Pidge and Matt left soon after Hunk and Shay. Shiro and Adam were the last ones left at the bar with Lance. Shiro tried to offer Lance a ride home, but Lance insisted he was fine and that he could call a cab later. Shiro reluctantly said goodbye and told Lance to text him once he got home.

The bar closed and Keith never showed. That was fine. He was busy. On a date. With Ryan.

Defeated, Lance called a cab and crashed the moment he hit his mattress.

The next day, Lance woke up with a killer hangover and nasty breath.

Work was hectic. He barely managed to say two words to Keith all day before one of them got pulled away for some reason or another.

He was going to ask Keith on a date. A _real_ date. 

But, the world was against Lance. It wasn’t until their shifts were over that Lance got a moment of peace to talk to Keith.

Keith was grabbing his jacket from his desk, prepared to leave the precinct, but Lance called out for him to wait.

 _Okay, mention the trophy and then ask him out. Easy._ Lance thought to himself.

“Keith, check it out!” Lance wiggled the trophy around in one hand.

“Hey, you got the coolest kill?”

Lance shook his head, “Oh, no, not even close, but as it turns out, anyone can buy a children’s trophy and get it engraved,” Lance said. 

“Smart,” Keith said.

 _Okay, now just ask him out_.

“Hey, before you go, I wanted to ask you something,” Lance said, focusing very hard on keeping his tone level.

Hunk, who still hadn’t gone home, gave Lance a thumbs up from behind Keith.

“Of course,” Keith said.

 _Ask him out_.

“I was just wondering,” Lance noticed that Keith’s hair had a strange shine to it and that it was a little bit less unruly than it normally was, “Are you wearing hair gel?”

Lance could only describe Keith’s face as blushing and it was adorable, “Yeah, I’m going out with Ryan again. Does it look weird? I called Shiro for some date tips, but I don’t know if I trust him. It’s like asking for financial advice from someone who won the lottery on their first try.”

Lance pushed down the growing lump in his throat and told Keith, “You look great.”

“Thank you,” Keith said quietly. A little louder this time, he said, “So what’s up?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, just some work stuff, but it can wait until tomorrow, go have fun on your date. We’ll talk tomorrow,” Lance said.

“Okay,” Keith raised an eyebrow at Lance, “Bye.”

“Bye,” Lance said.

Hunk watched Keith walk away and gave Lance an empathetic smile.

“Don’t worry Lance, I can help you with your work stuff,” Coran said, appearing from seemingly nowhere.

“Thanks, man,” Lance said, disappointment tinting his voice.

It was his own fault. He waited too long, and now Keith was going on _another_ date with Ryan Kinkade. He willed the sinking feeling in his body to go away and went home and ate two pints of ice cream as he watched all the second Die Hard movie.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos + comments appreciated <3  
> there will be another part to this but idk if I should make it, like, another work in this series or another chapter in this work PLS COMMENT WHAT U THINK I SHOULD DO im stuck.
> 
> anyway, as usual, this is not proofread so lemme know if there are any mistakes


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